Okay, so I was thinking about this whole myspace and your top 8 business............why??? I don't know, I guess I was bored........but yeah.........can I just say what a ridiculous idea that is. I mean if you stop and think about it.......what it's essentially asking us to do is rate our friends in order of importance right? So, your number one isn't as important as your number 8, or number 18, .........but what I can't seem to understand is why people see nothing wrong with this, and why I! didn't see anything wrong with this.......this is such a weird rant to go on, but I'm bored, so what the hellll..........but yes, as I was saying, am I the only person that finds this so unbelievably stupid, and am I the only person to think that I was stupid for actually rating my friends???......I guess huh?? I don't know, I guess thats all I have to say about it for now........if I fell like ranting some more, don't worry I will ;)
xoxo
Ani
aka: Resident *FAIRY*
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Why?
You know, as I'm sitting here, thinking about everything, the one question that pops into my head is..............Why???..........
Why am I stressing so much about school?
Why am I sitting up writing this blog, when i SHOULD be studying for a midterm?
Why am I doing everything in my power to try and delay what I know is evident, and very close in the future...........studying?
Why does it matter?.....Why does it matter if I don't study?
What will happen if I don't?.....I mean honestly, what will happen??.........nothing........right???
What if I don't study, in all actuality, if I don't study.....whats going to happen........I drop out??.....okay, then what...........retail??? X_X more retail?? *rips all her hair out*
Okay so I have been thinking about this for a few hours, and I realized that no matter how much I hate being in this situation that I'm in right now ........thats all I have.........right???........and the motivation at this point is getting out of this RUT I call of a life now??......well i guess thats all right, but for how long? I mean for how long am I going to be living and hoping for a better future? Till the end?? Am I going to be waiting for something better to come along my ENTIRE life??.........yes?? ......yeah I guess thats the answer........YES........but I'm not happy with that. I don't want to ALWAYS be waiting for something better to come or for that ONE amazing moment in my life. I don't want to always be striving to get somewhere better than where I am at.........wait.........no I do..*sighs* .........see thats the tricky part......I guess its a human thing right?? .......Always wanting something better?? Something better than we already have???.........And I guess that I can't really change that right?? .........Human nature is human nature.......and I guess what I am coming at is.....well I don't know what I am coming at........*scratches head* .........but what I DO know is that something HAS to change.......something HAS to change SOON.......because ...........well...........this just ISN'T good enough........I don't care how much everybody says that its temporary.......that doesn't matter.........what matters is that I am living it NOW, and I don't care that its temporary because knowing that doesn't make it any better. What makes it better is..........well.....nothing makes it better at this point. The only thing I can do is not bitch and moan about it all day, and somehow, someday, I will look back on all of this and be great full for it??..........Ugh I don't know.....sometimes I feel like saying......."FUCK IT" "FUCK IT ALL".....but I have enough common sense not to do that.........and with that I leave you guys tonight............I have come to the realization, that I HAVE to study, and that all these WHY questions will have to wait for another night.......when my brain isn't total MUSH.............soooo ask yourselves, why? why are U doing what UR doing at this very moment? Whats pushing you to do it? And if you don't have an answer.......I beg u to stop and try to find one, because without that.........WHATS THE POINT?????
XOXO
Ani
aka: resident *FAIRY*
Why am I stressing so much about school?
Why am I sitting up writing this blog, when i SHOULD be studying for a midterm?
Why am I doing everything in my power to try and delay what I know is evident, and very close in the future...........studying?
Why does it matter?.....Why does it matter if I don't study?
What will happen if I don't?.....I mean honestly, what will happen??.........nothing........right???
What if I don't study, in all actuality, if I don't study.....whats going to happen........I drop out??.....okay, then what...........retail??? X_X more retail?? *rips all her hair out*
Okay so I have been thinking about this for a few hours, and I realized that no matter how much I hate being in this situation that I'm in right now ........thats all I have.........right???........and the motivation at this point is getting out of this RUT I call of a life now??......well i guess thats all right, but for how long? I mean for how long am I going to be living and hoping for a better future? Till the end?? Am I going to be waiting for something better to come along my ENTIRE life??.........yes?? ......yeah I guess thats the answer........YES........but I'm not happy with that. I don't want to ALWAYS be waiting for something better to come or for that ONE amazing moment in my life. I don't want to always be striving to get somewhere better than where I am at.........wait.........no I do..*sighs* .........see thats the tricky part......I guess its a human thing right?? .......Always wanting something better?? Something better than we already have???.........And I guess that I can't really change that right?? .........Human nature is human nature.......and I guess what I am coming at is.....well I don't know what I am coming at........*scratches head* .........but what I DO know is that something HAS to change.......something HAS to change SOON.......because ...........well...........this just ISN'T good enough........I don't care how much everybody says that its temporary.......that doesn't matter.........what matters is that I am living it NOW, and I don't care that its temporary because knowing that doesn't make it any better. What makes it better is..........well.....nothing makes it better at this point. The only thing I can do is not bitch and moan about it all day, and somehow, someday, I will look back on all of this and be great full for it??..........Ugh I don't know.....sometimes I feel like saying......."FUCK IT" "FUCK IT ALL".....but I have enough common sense not to do that.........and with that I leave you guys tonight............I have come to the realization, that I HAVE to study, and that all these WHY questions will have to wait for another night.......when my brain isn't total MUSH.............soooo ask yourselves, why? why are U doing what UR doing at this very moment? Whats pushing you to do it? And if you don't have an answer.......I beg u to stop and try to find one, because without that.........WHATS THE POINT?????
XOXO
Ani
aka: resident *FAIRY*
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